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Friday, September 12th, 2003
10:32 pm - Wow..I'm drowning in a hole of my own misery
I'm reading all these folks' livejournals, and they all say: life sucks. An dI'll have to agree with them. Life really does suck. I really hate life alot. I'm not quite sure why, but damn, I am fucking miserable for some reason. I feel like I can't get out of bed in the morning, go to school, or do my HW. It's killing me, and I don't know what to do. I think I want to get Homeschooled, or something till the year is over. *sigh* I'm hoping some kind of mystifying answer will come to me, but alas, I feel alone, and confused, and scared. *sigh* Everything really sucks. OH well, I guess all I can do is just complain.

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Sunday, August 10th, 2003
2:14 am - Got to get Funked up!
George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic is the shiznizzie. P-Funk is cranking up the funk. I am lover of the Funk music, and I want to spread the Funk vibe. The music just so vibrantly stimulates mood and mind with positivity and creativity with its Funkadelic combination of base notes, provocative rhythms, electrifying instrumentals, and awesome lyrical exhilaration. Everybody get down with the funk. There ain't nothing with getting alittle funky. The Funk Music celebrates the good times and life, and serves as a morale revivor during low times. Oh, We Need the Funk..

That's about all the funk I can pump out for now.

George Clinton and P-Funk August 15th, The Funk is coming for us all!

current mood: Funky :)

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Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
8:52 pm - Long time
Wow, it's been a long time since I've written in this. It's almost like evrytime I want to write in it or something I can never think of anything profound or something that makes someone look puzzled or say,"That's so cool!" or maybe some other kind of fabulous interjection. Aye, is me. Oh well, this is Melody signing off.

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Friday, April 18th, 2003
5:47 pm - 1 is the loneliest number that you'll ever know.

I am the number
I am the loneliest number


what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

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Thursday, April 17th, 2003
10:08 pm - Flaws.
I feel so awful. I'm in so much pain. I don't care what she says - not going to school tomorrow.

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Monday, April 14th, 2003
3:31 am
I'm still doing chemistry HW, and my stomach feels really weird. I don't know what's wrong. :(

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Wednesday, March 26th, 2003
11:47 pm - Le Petit Prince
One of the most profound books I've ever had to read, I'd say would be "Le Petit Prince" By Antoine de Saint-Exupery. It was written shortly after WWII, and expresses a very innocent and yet simple theme. It is rare that a writing touches me in the way that this story has. The Little Prince talks to the Fox in the 21st chapter, after visiting all the different planets, and cogitating over his beloved rose. The Fox, to whom he has just tamed, tells him a threefold secret, before it comes time for the little prince to depart. I think the secret represents the sole moral message of the book. The Fox tells him that one can only see well with the heart because the eyes miss the essential; that the time the prince has lost for his beloved rose[in symbolism, she(the rose) represents his love] is what makes her so important; and that a person is forever responsible for what he has tamed. In the book, taming someone means making that person special to you or falling in love with them in a sense - when you tame someone, you always risk crying a little. The book is really cute, and really moving in a child-like sense. This is one of my favorite books as of now, but I think it still ties with The Vampire Lestat.

current mood: tired

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Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
4:41 pm
I would kill myself if it would make this pain go away.

current mood: sick

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Friday, March 7th, 2003
1:17 pm - Mais bien sur!
You are French
You are a Parisian.

What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
3:12 am - Well, it's the old live journal again
Well hey everyone out ther in LJ land. I hope you're all doing well, and if you're reading this post I'm flattered already.
I know, this is probably inappropriate but I have been awake awhile and basically thinking about life, love, relationships, and myself. I'm really happy for everyone that I'm close to or once was close to that are in happy, successful relationships. I think love creates a magnificent connection between one person and another. I have always been a fan.
Anyhow, on the inappropriate note, relationships and that whole concept basically have been on my mind alot. I mean, constantly, I am always thinking about them. I have convinced myself that I want to be in one, but in a few years I plan on leaving the country so even trying for a successful one really would be kind of pointless. Seeing as how me living in another country wouldn't neccesarily work out.
Nevertheless, the reason I wanted to post this is that I am happy being single and unatached for this reason: There will never be a guy(maybe not never but chances look slim here) be a guy that is secure enough in his masculinity to handle me. And who fits the profile of being a suitable mate(for lack of a better term) by my standards.
Seriously, I don't mean to sound like a self-serving bitch when I say this because it is honestly how I feel and pretty much I couldn't sleep, and thought this would be good to get off my chest or something.
I have so much love for everyone, and I really feel that everyone is just awesome. You are all awesome in your own ways! Really, I think this, I do honestly.
Anyway, I think I am a pretty unique person in that sense, and I just thought I'd share my thoughts because I can't sleep. And you know how when something's on your mind and you can't sleep you gotta talk to somebody about it. This was my goal! :)
Anyway, that's the 3rd time I've written "anyway" so I guess I better wrap this up.
For those of you who read this post I hope you found it someone entertaining/enlightening/interesting or whatever. Later Folks! Heh...

current mood: awake

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Friday, February 21st, 2003
1:35 am - Why don't you all just F-F-F-.........fade away...
Oh my God you guys I am losing my fucking mind. My brain hurts.

All I need's alittle time.

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1:33 am - This is Insightful, Damn it So Read it!!!!!
Clarissa Explains it All. Little brothers piss you
off and your best friend climbs up a ladder...
But of course that's not weird to you because
you're Clarissa Darling

What's Your 90's Nickelodeon Show?
brought to you by Quizilla

Clarissa Explains it All. Little brothers piss you off and your best friend climbs up a ladder... But of course that's not weird to you because you're Clarissa Darling

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Monday, February 10th, 2003
12:35 am - Feeling Fatigued...
I have a lot of HW to do, but I'm really tired so I'm thinking it might be a good idea perhaps to go to sleep even though I woke up at 4:00 PM today. I'm so exhausted. A spider bit me while I was sleeping, and I woke up with this rather infectiously blistered burn-looking thing on my hand. No body knew what it was or what caused it so finally I asked my dad if he would take me to the hospital. We went, and after much speculation the doctors decided it was an allergic reaction to some kind of bug bite. I slept alot this weekend. I am no longer an employee of Bucky's BBQ. Friday was my last night. I'll miss working there. Especially all the crazy old men that cooked.

current mood: tired

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Wednesday, February 5th, 2003
10:43 pm
I hate the person I am. I hate the person I've become. I am useless, and mentally fucking retarded in everything. I don't know why I even try anymore... Things won't ever really be sane...

current mood: depressed I guess

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Thursday, January 23rd, 2003
8:00 am - As Much as you think you don't like someone, You always feel bad when they die...
She died the day it snowed. I think she liked the snow, she had never seen it before until she moved in with us. Her dog always liked it. I wonder if the dog is still alive.

She died this morning - while I was out running.

A bunch of family shit to do this weekend, it's all very depressing.

It's been a crazy six years.

I love you Grandma, and I wish you peace in travels.

I know none of you really care, some compassion from my friends would be nice though. It's just been my and my mom and we're not that close.


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Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
10:37 pm - Gaspillé dans son lit...
I don't feel that great. As a matter of fact I feel awful. I have just returned from the hospital, and it appears that chances are high that my grandmother will probably die. Death is a part of life, I know, and it will be accepted. It's just so depressing. My mom has been upset, and numerous times I have come to her and she's in tears. I'm outside looking in, and it doesn't appear there's much to do about it - it feels that way. I feel things so easily. I feel things from others like a giant emotional sponge that needs to be wrung out after so long. I'm so nervous, and feeling antsy,and maybe not quite sure what to do with myself. School is hard, and pressuring. And I'm working 2 jobs, and it hurts. I'm hurting,and I don't think I should be. I feel like such a brat, but I guess I'm a dork, and spaz, and far too analytical for my own well-being. Comprise myself. I'll get through it. Won't function anymore if I don't...

I smoked a cigarette to and from the hospital of my grandmother who has emphysima.
Aye, me. I'm emotional.

My grandmother's hands - they were swollen, and not wrinkly like normal. I think it gave her an almost youthful glow. *sigh*

It's all just being reborn, anyway, isn't it?

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Monday, January 6th, 2003
3:48 am
She doens't care whether or not he's an island
She doesn't care just as long as his ship's coming in
they laugh
they make money
he's got a gold watch
she's got a silk dress and
healthy breasts - that bounce
on his italian leather sofa...

Je suis très fatigueé , maintenant. Mon Dieu! Quel est un weekend! J'ai fait la conaissance d'une fille très mignonne qui est de Swède. Elle s'appelle Mimi. Elle a les cheveux blonds et courts. Et La meilleure pièce était que j'ai parlé le français avec elle! Très Jolie, je dois dire. Comme on dit en anglais, J'avait senti un peu 'zoned out' récemment. C'est tout pour maintenant, je devine.

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Monday, December 30th, 2002
8:17 am - ROCK!!
What Nero catch phraze are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

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Thursday, December 26th, 2002
9:44 pm - Guess what today is?
Everyone have a Kwazy Kwaanzaa!!!!

current mood: crazy

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Wednesday, December 25th, 2002
3:04 pm - Happy Holidays
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, and are blessed with true happiness and love. You are all very special and incredible people in your own ways. And I mean everyone - not just a select few of you on my friends list. I hope you all had a very merry christmas. Let's be hate-free, and forget our differences this holiday, and become one with unity and love. Just Some thoughts. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!

current mood: good

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